No Mutants Allowed

JUST IN CASE

I'm laughing so hard right now. Thank you for making my shitty day better

At work once I was tossing something broken into a damages bin and said "Frag out", coworker looked at me like I was crazy. I can live with that though

I used to get that "boi wtf.jpeg" look from my high school teachers when I did that. Then after all the major bombings I stopped doing it cause the way the world is going I didn't want to get like the cops called on me.

possibly the biggest casualty of the "war on terror" - humor

Dude you have NO IDEA. I think I mentioned in one of the forums that my best friend stabbed me in the back and I almost went to prison; but the main reason I went to court and spent time in the loony bin afterwards is because they took my sarcastic comments and gave them to the police as though I were SERIOUS.

I also confided in them about the voices I used to hear (now I'm on antipsychotics) and they used it as a reason to be "afraid of me". I had to leave college and came a gnat's dick away from being incarcerated, all over stigma for mental illness and some dark jokes.

But yeah; that's why I don't really joke over text anymore. It's like that Jim Jefferies joke: "You take all the *aaagh* out've it and my material seems awful!"

jeebus cripes. Yeah, these days it's pretty much "walking on eggshells" for one reason or another. Probably not going to ever get better, the way things are going.

That's another reason I'm open about my Borderline Personality Disorder and psychosis; if I hide my problems, then that best friend won. The bigots win, if I don't speak up for myself and people like me and say, "it's alright. There are other people like us who have these issues, and it's ok to get help

If you don't listen to anything else I ever say, listen to me when I say: my main goal in life is to be open, so that gods willing someone else can learn from my examples and get help before they experience what I did.

I have to say my time in the mental ward and later outpatient wasn't too bad. The hospital staff gave me nicotine gum, though worried usually (I was the only one with a red "warning" sign on my door, indicating a history of violence against myself + others; while I'd never have hurt that friend I mentioned, I've been in my share of fights + used to cut myself), but all in all the people were nice and supportive

sorry if this got like uncomfortable lol that wasn't my intention

My trips to the psych ward have varied between "crashing boredom" and "If I don't get out of this place I'm going to go crazier than I already am". Cali was probably the worst place, MN wasn't too bad

Oh don't get me wrong, it was boring but my main concern was fiending for a cigarette the whole time. Besides that I generally read (my friends visited and brought me books) and playing aces with a former cop who I roomed with.

*playing spades