Aurelius Of Phoenix
Psued.
Lucas Simms, the sheriff of Megaton in the DC area known as the Capital Wasteland and sole guardian of one Harden Simms, is a single man and known as the man in charge in Megaton (There is also Colin Moriarty, but I'm unsure of the veracity in the assumption of Irish and the Celtic peoples as being 'people' in the scientific sense). A few concerned citizens of Megaton have tasked this sleuth with uncovering and either confirming or denying the rumors whispered around the saloon that Sheriff Simms is indeed a 'homosexual who engages in reprobate behavior on the sly taking advantage of his position'.
Over two weeks in the summer of 2278, months removed from the Brotherhood-Enclave war in 2277, and the activation of the purifier at the Jefferson memorial, the wasteland got a little bit easier to live in with a bottle of fresh water to assuage the thirst of many a man and woman. Megaton, a crummy but secure town (if you are not afraid of tetanus, nuclear bombs and waste, and weirdo cultists) got plenty more crowded as time went on. As the newcomers came in and made their home, some strange rumors started to make the rounds.
Simms, a single father had been leading Megaton for quite some time now, but the mother of his child has never been known. But the story goes that Lucas' sister Shaniqua Simms was quite the party girl back in the day and ended up knocked up after a three-day drunken bender. After quite the controversy Lucas claims that Shaniqua eloped not long after that, making way for Rivet City. The strange thing is that Shaniqua was never heard from again. Months later, Lucas Simms suddenly had a baby boy to take care of despite no one ever recalling Simms having any relationships, and never seeing Simms look at another girl twice. Shaniqua's pregnancy lines up with the time Lucas' son was revealed to the town.
Back to the present, the local bachelors that would come and hound the ladies of the town and perhaps visit miss Nova for a poke have been making fewer waves than normal. Asking Nova, the local whore in the employ of Moriarty's saloon who walked many a boy onto the path of manhood, about this oddity she went a little pale as the looked into the night and dragged on her cigarette. "Now that's a story for you, well recently my regulars have been coming to me less often, and when they do their not as feisty. Now, I considered whether it was finally time to reign it in, but I managed to loosen the lips of a young man and I heard a ghastly tale. That Lucas Simms was taking boys to the town jail overnight and giving them the old colonoscopy, but not with his hands if you catch my meaning, and he ain't no doctor." After availing myself of Miss Nova's services since I was there, my mind was in knots. I had decided to tail Sheriff Simms overnight and see for myself the truth of this matter.
As I slipped from shadow to shadow in the city of rusted metal after Sheriff Lucas Simms, it wasn't long before I had what I was looking for. I witnessed Sheriff Simms stop a man on his way home. This was a young man, slight of build and clean-shaven. He was scared. Simms wrapped his arm on the other man's shoulder and I heard him say, "Why don't you sleep it off at the jail, boy." That night I heard noises from that jail that will haunt me to my last days, I ran straight for my room at the saloon and had to be consoled by Miss Nova until dawn. Then I made my way back to Galaxy news radio, to deliver this special report.
I would like to thank Three-Dog and my dear friends at the Brotherhood for giving me this opportunity, though this job is tough I'm resolute in the arduous task of exposing to the wastes, filth like Sheriff Lucas Simms of Megaton.
Only on Galaxy News Radio
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