DOOM: THE MOVIE

C

calculon000

Sonny, I Watched the Vault Bein' Built!
When I first heard about DOOM: THE MOVIE months ago, I was told that it would contain neither Mars, nor hell demons. You know, completely ignore the source material and be just another movie like the string of shitty video game movies that asshat director Uwe Boll is pulling out of his colon in the next couple of years.

I went to Little Gamers to check for updates on the comic, and they mentioned a DOOM: THE MOVIE trailer. So I googled it and found said trailer here. If you don't feel like watching the trailer for Stealth* before having the privilege to watch the trailer for DOOM: THE MOVIE, can get the mov file from my shitty little server here.

Here is good and bad news. It appears that it will include Mars, but not Hell Demons (they are "mutants"). So it doesn't completley ignore the source material, which makes it at least as good as a Uwe Boll shitfest. Here are the facts, ma'am:
-It stars THE ROCK (Dwayne Johnson)
-Judging from the trailer, it incorporates the classic Uwe Boll "Let's show the monster to death and take any semblance of style or scariness away from it" style of "horror"

Now I've never seen Walking Tall, but I have seen The Scorpion King, and while I'm not a professional acting critic, THE ROCK's acting didn't seem like anything special to me in that movie. I can barely remember how he was in that movie, if that's any indication. DOOM: THE MOVIE seems like a classic Uwe Boll style clusterfuck that only stands on cheap action, star name recognition, and the milking and cheapening of yet another video game franchise. Just to clarify, Uwe Boll is not directing this film, the director is Andrzej Bartkowiak, who directed films like The Devil's Advocate, which I thought was pretty good, and Speed, so maybe he will do the franchise more justice than I'm giving DOOM: THE MOVIE credit for. I'd like to wait until I actually see the film to make any conclusions, but based on the trailer, they didn't do nearly as much with the premise as they could have, and it seems to me to be just another Uwe Boll crapper.

*Stealth is another unoriginal formulaic waste of film where a computer-controlled assault aircraft is struck by lightning, which gives it sentience and reprograms it to kill all humans. The moral of this film is that surge protectors really do work. They keep your PC from killing all humans. I suspect the surge protector industry produced it.
 
I'm 90% sure this movie is going to be awesome. Granted, I'm a little pissed about the whole "mutant" thing (the whole mutant zombie thing has been done too many times), but it still looks like a solid sci-fi/horror/action flick.

At least they made a point to include the BFG (let's just hope they didn't change its function).

I think The Rock is a pretty decent actor. He's charismatic and very suited to the action hero roles that he plays. Reminds me of a young Arnold Schwarzenneggeggenneggagarar, I suppose, still kind of finding himself. I'm glad that he seems to be branching out a bit - his role in Be Cool was the best part of the movie.
 
I don't think that the Rock is a bad actor, I'm just suspicious of actors who didn’t actually build their name acting, and the trailer makes DOOM: THE MOVIE seem like it relies on the recognition of his name and the franchise name, rather than good filmmaking or acting.
 
calculon000 said:
I don't think that the Rock is a bad actor, I'm just suspicious of actors who didn’t actually build their name acting.
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You do realise that professional wrestling is pretty much just a soap opera with boots and bodyslams, right?

I watched a lot of professional wrestling when I was younger, and I would go so far as to say The Rock did more talking and acting than he did "wrestling" during his stint at the WWF.
 
Yet one more stupid film based on a video game?

Haven't we seen enough of this waste of film?

Let's see Alien vs Predator? Tomb Raider? Resident Evil? Popcorn flicks that are good for those in need to resolve Attention Deficit Disorder, but worth $8? Bullshit.

When there are so many good plots and stories that are worth doing movies around, selling video game movies is just marketing to the lowest denominator.

Compare for instance- 12 Monkeys to Resident Evil? 28 Days Later to Aliens vs Predator? Tomb Raider to Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I don't know what's worse- Hollywood's failure to be creative and interesting, or the banality and stupidity of the audience that pays for these films?
 
Malkavian said:
You do realise that professional wrestling is pretty much just a soap opera with boots and bodyslams, right?
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Yeah, but that doesn't mean it was good acting, right?

welsh said:
Let's see Alien vs Predator? Tomb Raider? Resident Evil? Popcorn flicks that are good for those in need to resolve Attention Deficit Disorder, but worth $8? Bullshit.
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I actually thought the first Resident Evil was decent, but the second was shite like the rest. The thing is they could make good films and come up with good plots based on the premise of some video games, but they just aren't even trying. That's what I hate.

Doom has the potential to be turned into a quality horror film, but not as long as directors like Uwe Boll are making these films.
 
I doubt it Calculon. Monster and horror movies have been changed so that it's either just a mindless monster killing people or its a shoot-em-up with the monster standing in for criminals, terrorists, or badguys. The first is hard to do, the second is fairly easy and sells to the basic adolescent male audience.

Compare for instance Alien (the first movie) with Aliens (the second).

Alien the first film is a sci-fi horror flick because it takes the time to develop the horror, it plays on mood and setting and at making things eerie. The humans really don't know what they are up against. Aliens is more of a sci-fi action flick. Yes the monsters are bad, but it's mostly a military story in which these folks are being investigating and then are beseiged by some rather nasty critters. Exciting but not really horrorifying.

But both films are so much more remarkable than any of the video-to-movie films of which Doom is probably the next example. The Rock?

I saw the film where he's in Brazil going after lost treasure when it was on HBO. It was unremarkable but enjoyable. I think he could possibly pull off a decent movie, but the Rock is setting himself in the same league as Arnold Scharzeneggar and Chuck Norris- single genre action stars that become laughable as actors.

The problem is not the Rock. The problem is the movie idea. You are making a movie based on a game. While I enjoyed playing Doom it was really a first person game where the trick was always to get through this level with the least amount of damage, find the secret chambers and get the cool weapons.

THat's not what makes for a good movie. A good movie needs plot, character, depth.

Instead the industry will make a movie based on a game because they know it sells, and it sells because there are people who can't tell the difference between crap and art.
 
wasn't the doom guy white?
start1rr.gif
 
Holy mother of god, that trailer was so hilariously bad that I almost found TEH ROKC slightly less cool. Almost. Just a guess at what the script of this movie looks like:


doom9ld.png
 
I knew the trailer sounded familiar!

Try comparing the DOOM: THE MOVIE trailer to the Alone in the Dark trailer.

Try playing them both at the same time, I think you'll find that the audio is virtually interchangeable between the two. :wink:

Also, Welsh, I know that yes, DOOM: THE MOVIE will be just another notch in some producers bank account, but I still think that the Doom franchise could have had the potential to be turned into an actual scary movie. I don’t blame the Rock, I blame Hollywood.
 
I just...

(moans)

I wont see it even more so after reading all this. I expected as much.

I mean they've got opportunity. The lone marine discovers dead fellows and slowly creeps around 'til he's forced to kill a zombified marine. Intrigued and bewildered he's then set upon by the first Imp...and the story progresses from there as he discovers the portal to Hell and heads there.

Oh well.

Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller
 
I just had the greatest idea ever.

Bruce Campbell plays a lone marine who find himself in a Martian research colony devastated by a hell portal opening up and the evil dead are possessed and returning to life as well as all the other demons from the game. He has to kick ass and take names all the way to shutting the portal down.

I guess it has potential to be a truly great action movie too. So much potential, wasted.... :(
 
Cool. But that would be Evil Dead/Army of Darkness in Space of Evil Dead IV.

If it has as fun a script of Army of Darkness, I might pay to see that.
 
welsh said:
Cool. But that would be Evil Dead/Army of Darkness in Space of Evil Dead IV.

If it has as fun a script of Army of Darkness, I might pay to see that.
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God... If it has trees raping women... I'll pay for that. Say, was the guy from the Army of Darkness movie the same actor on that Sci-Fi goof Alien Apocalypse? I swore those movies were written and directed by the same people.
 
calculon000 said:
Bruce Campbell
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Now that you say that, I fail to see how they could cast anyone but Bruce Campbell in the lead role.

Can anyone picture a better chainsaw weilding maniac?
 
Big T said:
Now that you say that, I fail to see how they could cast anyone but Bruce Campbell in the lead role.

Can anyone picture a better chainsaw wielding maniac?
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The chainsaw is literally a part of Bruce Cambell.

Strom said:
To clarify even futher, he did NOT direct The Devil's Advocate nor Speed. He was the cinematographer for those films.
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My bad. :oops:


See, I was thinking that it could even BE the character Ash. In the alternate ending of Army of Darkness, he swallows one too many drops of the sleeping potion and wakes up in 2093. (Rather than 1993) No reason a third ending couldn’t be shown at the beginning of this film showing him taking two drops too many and waking up in 2193, which by then should be enough time to have a Martian colony to save. (He could join the SPACE military after he waked up.)
 
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