SarcasticGoodGuy
*R O T T E N*
This is mainly for convenience. I don't like repeating the same crap over and over when debating with CT Phipps or that anarchic? antichrist? The troll that begins with an 'a'. I'm covering every DLC for the 3d games F3, FNV and F4. Let's get right, into the reviews.
Guys I want to say in advance I'm sorry. I've finished my Fallout 4 DLC reviews but I just couldn't keep my cool. I had to throw in racist jokes and memes. They have such little content that I had to pad it out myself.
Fallout 3
New Vegas
Fallout 4
Guys I want to say in advance I'm sorry. I've finished my Fallout 4 DLC reviews but I just couldn't keep my cool. I had to throw in racist jokes and memes. They have such little content that I had to pad it out myself.
Fallout 3
Oh boy. So it's basically a linear corridor shooter set inside of a simulation of Alaska. The game's combat is already bad. The epic battle doesn't feel epic. There's no plot to break down, you're just following orders- there might be the optional errand to do on the way like helping soldiers and that but the DLC is pretty much bare bones. It nets you some nice gear and that's about it. I can't even review it because there's so little content in this. If you're a Fallout fan, don't buy it. If you're a fan of shooters, don't buy it. 3/10
Yay, an actual DLC with a cohesive plot I can break down. So you help this guy kill some slavers from Pittsburgh- now named the Pitt (props to whoever named this, I love little things like post-war names). You ride a minecart from DC to the Pitt and- wait, wait a fucking second. You ride a minecart for >300km. Don't give me this 'you only have to ride for 1km then momentum does shit' argument because it's fucking stupid. Great, not even at the DLC location and I've resorted to swearing.
When you arrive, Bethesda show you slaves being mistreated- this is good (not in that way) because they're not relying on terminal entries and notes, they've put effort into emphasizing the situation you're in. You're forced to participate in an arena because 'fighting!!!!' and you're introduced to the leader of the slavers. There's a little bit of nice set up here- about this virus that's plaguing the slaves and is bad for business. Then this good stuff is quickly thrown out of the window and you're sent on a fetch quest to get iron ingots in this horrible looking industrial estate, that isn't particularly large, it just has a horrible layout. That's the main bulk of the DLC- a fetch quest. There's also a new enemy type- the trogs. They're OK I guess, not awesome enough to up the score but not offensive to the lore at all.
The DLC ends with a choice of assisting the slaves and curing the plague- at the cost of a baby; or alternatively you can side with the slavers to save the baby, but the cure will take longer to be made. Sure it suffers from a generally uninteresting location, its morally ambiguous ending will be great for people that enjoy 3. And for people like myself that hated the vanilla game, this is a neat piece of DLC worth the money you're paying for it, albeit with quite a few flaws. 7/10
When you arrive, Bethesda show you slaves being mistreated- this is good (not in that way) because they're not relying on terminal entries and notes, they've put effort into emphasizing the situation you're in. You're forced to participate in an arena because 'fighting!!!!' and you're introduced to the leader of the slavers. There's a little bit of nice set up here- about this virus that's plaguing the slaves and is bad for business. Then this good stuff is quickly thrown out of the window and you're sent on a fetch quest to get iron ingots in this horrible looking industrial estate, that isn't particularly large, it just has a horrible layout. That's the main bulk of the DLC- a fetch quest. There's also a new enemy type- the trogs. They're OK I guess, not awesome enough to up the score but not offensive to the lore at all.
The DLC ends with a choice of assisting the slaves and curing the plague- at the cost of a baby; or alternatively you can side with the slavers to save the baby, but the cure will take longer to be made. Sure it suffers from a generally uninteresting location, its morally ambiguous ending will be great for people that enjoy 3. And for people like myself that hated the vanilla game, this is a neat piece of DLC worth the money you're paying for it, albeit with quite a few flaws. 7/10
So someone is looking for their daughter and asks your assistance in finding them. You go to a spooky island with creepy villagers and a fog to find her. Now Bethesda, here's some free advice- when the main plot of your game is searching for a family member, don't make it the main plot of one of you 'expansions'.
It suffers the same flaws as the Pitt. Not nice to look at, already hindered by bad gameplay etc. It's been a while since I played it but I recall way more technical issues with this DLC in particular. However, it's not saved by a neat ending or little details. Instead, it's a slow walk through several tedious quests and boring locations.
The ending is horrible. Help a British ghoul or a brain in a jar. OK. If you help the brain it tries to kill you anyway. Oh fuck you Bethesda, I'm only giving this one a 4.5 because it had some content that wasn't shoot this shoot that (I'm talking about the drug trip- you know you loved it)
It suffers the same flaws as the Pitt. Not nice to look at, already hindered by bad gameplay etc. It's been a while since I played it but I recall way more technical issues with this DLC in particular. However, it's not saved by a neat ending or little details. Instead, it's a slow walk through several tedious quests and boring locations.
The ending is horrible. Help a British ghoul or a brain in a jar. OK. If you help the brain it tries to kill you anyway. Oh fuck you Bethesda, I'm only giving this one a 4.5 because it had some content that wasn't shoot this shoot that (I'm talking about the drug trip- you know you loved it)
Why does this one exist? It's another corridor shooter, only this one also shits on the lore.
Forget everything you knew before, now it's aliens that started the Great War. Some of the aliens don't shoot you- wow Bethesda are such geniuses having a fictional species react this way!!!!!
Everything I want to say about this excuse of a DLC has been said. So I'll end it with this: shit gameplay, awful player home reward, shit 'story', not fitting with the setting, 0.5/10.
Forget everything you knew before, now it's aliens that started the Great War. Some of the aliens don't shoot you- wow Bethesda are such geniuses having a fictional species react this way!!!!!
Everything I want to say about this excuse of a DLC has been said. So I'll end it with this: shit gameplay, awful player home reward, shit 'story', not fitting with the setting, 0.5/10.
You know those guys you were forced into helping? Now you can commit mass genocide on them!!!! Player choice!
This DLC adds more enemies- which means more things to shoot with the god awful combat system. It fixes major plot holes with the ending... if you're willing to dish out money. This should've been a free update (at least the ending part.)
After the horrid ending becomes bearable you get to fight some more things, then it ends with you blowing up the bad guys or the good guys. 3/10- forces you to pay money to have continue playing something you've already paid for, and CT Phipps don't you dare say "but you can play for as long as you want without completing the ending" Everything after the revised ending is just fluff.
This DLC adds more enemies- which means more things to shoot with the god awful combat system. It fixes major plot holes with the ending... if you're willing to dish out money. This should've been a free update (at least the ending part.)
After the horrid ending becomes bearable you get to fight some more things, then it ends with you blowing up the bad guys or the good guys. 3/10- forces you to pay money to have continue playing something you've already paid for, and CT Phipps don't you dare say "but you can play for as long as you want without completing the ending" Everything after the revised ending is just fluff.
New Vegas
You investigate an abandoned bunker and are taken captive by some crazy guy. You're forced to complete tasks in a hostile environment, surrounded by a toxic fog and strange enemies. There's a schizophrenic mutant, a stubborn ghoul singer and a mute- not the easiest group to communicate with.
This DLC is a neat survival horror experience in an amazing setting- the casino villa is like a small Spanish town, and the interior is lavish. The environmental storytelling is used alongside dialogue, making it a good balance when it comes to story. Each of these characters is well written, with the antagonist being the highlight imo.
I won't spoil too much in case people haven't played it (unlikely), but if you can look past gameplay issues it's a fantastic DLC that pays homage to a classic film. Well worth your money. 9/10.
This DLC is a neat survival horror experience in an amazing setting- the casino villa is like a small Spanish town, and the interior is lavish. The environmental storytelling is used alongside dialogue, making it a good balance when it comes to story. Each of these characters is well written, with the antagonist being the highlight imo.
I won't spoil too much in case people haven't played it (unlikely), but if you can look past gameplay issues it's a fantastic DLC that pays homage to a classic film. Well worth your money. 9/10.
A story set in the aftermath of a city sacking. Conflict between a savage and peaceful tribe. Amazing characters. Beautiful scenery. But not without its flaws.
This DLC starts with a bunch of redshirts being killed. Then there are 3 fetch quests, 1 other quest and you're at the ending. As good looking as it is, Zion is a small place in Fallout. It doesn't take too long to complete. It's good lots of good stuff, it's just not enough. Very few additional side quests.
The ending is fight or flight- preserve a tribe's innocence and flee? Or fight back against the savage White Legs to save their home, at the expense of their innocence? It goes well with the themes of Fallout, and ties in faith quite well. There's a conflict of ideals- Old Testament vs. New. It's done incredibly well, as is the story of the Survivalist. I have to give it an 8/10 despite its flaws and length.
This DLC starts with a bunch of redshirts being killed. Then there are 3 fetch quests, 1 other quest and you're at the ending. As good looking as it is, Zion is a small place in Fallout. It doesn't take too long to complete. It's good lots of good stuff, it's just not enough. Very few additional side quests.
The ending is fight or flight- preserve a tribe's innocence and flee? Or fight back against the savage White Legs to save their home, at the expense of their innocence? It goes well with the themes of Fallout, and ties in faith quite well. There's a conflict of ideals- Old Testament vs. New. It's done incredibly well, as is the story of the Survivalist. I have to give it an 8/10 despite its flaws and length.
It's good. The first time I played it was an absolute treat. The 5 scientists each had their own personalities, and I loved the confrontation with Dr. Mobius.It managed to be a fun, goofy, and zany DLC with giant robot scorpions.
But the balancing was off. How are humans with their brains removed so strong? HH and DM didn't have these problems, but I couldn't enjoy combat in OWB. It wasn't fun. On repeat playthroughs I'd have to bring tons of ammo and skip the opening dialogue- it's funny, the first two or three times. I still chuckle at hand-penises, but it's ~10 minutes listening to some scientists being curious. I like it when the story in games progresses at my pace- I am after all, the player in the control.
I think my negativity comes from the fact I was expecting a masterpiece. People talked about this DLC as if it was the greatest thing ever. I'd still give it a 7.5/10- it combined memorable characters, sci-fi humour, interesting locations and jazz music.
But the balancing was off. How are humans with their brains removed so strong? HH and DM didn't have these problems, but I couldn't enjoy combat in OWB. It wasn't fun. On repeat playthroughs I'd have to bring tons of ammo and skip the opening dialogue- it's funny, the first two or three times. I still chuckle at hand-penises, but it's ~10 minutes listening to some scientists being curious. I like it when the story in games progresses at my pace- I am after all, the player in the control.
I think my negativity comes from the fact I was expecting a masterpiece. People talked about this DLC as if it was the greatest thing ever. I'd still give it a 7.5/10- it combined memorable characters, sci-fi humour, interesting locations and jazz music.
I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I love the tragedy of the Divide and Ulysses' character. On the other, I hate the use of nukes and Chris Avellone deciding to nuke humanity again. I think it was AtomKilla that said Ulysses is more of a fantasy character, and I agree. He's well written, but felt a bit off for me in Fallout.
As for the rest of the DLC, it was pretty good. The Divide wasn't jaw-dropping or anything, but it was fun to fight through. The Marked Men have a really good story and fit in with the themes of Fallout- they don't care what banner they fight under, they're just scarred humans with a lust for violence.
I feel like I got my monies worth with the DLC, but I have to question some of the design decisions, and with them the implications for the canon NV ending (two major factions getting nuked, not to mention the imminent destruction of the Mojave, rendering any decision you made pointless- it just seems like a Bethesda thing) Still everything else (especially Ralphie) is good, so it's a 7/10.
As for the rest of the DLC, it was pretty good. The Divide wasn't jaw-dropping or anything, but it was fun to fight through. The Marked Men have a really good story and fit in with the themes of Fallout- they don't care what banner they fight under, they're just scarred humans with a lust for violence.
I feel like I got my monies worth with the DLC, but I have to question some of the design decisions, and with them the implications for the canon NV ending (two major factions getting nuked, not to mention the imminent destruction of the Mojave, rendering any decision you made pointless- it just seems like a Bethesda thing) Still everything else (especially Ralphie) is good, so it's a 7/10.
Fallout 4
This DLC is a £7 gimmick. The "story" consists of killing things, building things, killing things, then talking to the only human added in the DLC.
The gimmick seems neat, and for Borderlands it would fit right in. But in the context of Fallout 4's world, it doesn't. If it's this easy to modify robots, then why are you the only one doing it? I know you get blueprints to make them, but what about the caravaneers? Simple questions that aren't answered. The gimmick is also hampered by the fact that "warlord" armor has higher stats than any other armor. So why use the other armor? It's the same problem that the vanilla weapon modding system had- if you wanted to succeed you had to go with the highest stats.
This DLC contains a few new outfits, and some new weapons (which are all conveniently placed next to each other at the end of a dungeon), and then 3 new NPCs you can interact with. A new robot called ADA, another called Jezebel (each with fuck all personality) and some Mexican chick who cosplays and builds robots to save humanity. From what? It's been 200 years, this shit shouldn't be happening in the first place. 3.5/10 save your money and buy a hammer to hit yourself with.
The gimmick seems neat, and for Borderlands it would fit right in. But in the context of Fallout 4's world, it doesn't. If it's this easy to modify robots, then why are you the only one doing it? I know you get blueprints to make them, but what about the caravaneers? Simple questions that aren't answered. The gimmick is also hampered by the fact that "warlord" armor has higher stats than any other armor. So why use the other armor? It's the same problem that the vanilla weapon modding system had- if you wanted to succeed you had to go with the highest stats.
This DLC contains a few new outfits, and some new weapons (which are all conveniently placed next to each other at the end of a dungeon), and then 3 new NPCs you can interact with. A new robot called ADA, another called Jezebel (each with fuck all personality) and some Mexican chick who cosplays and builds robots to save humanity. From what? It's been 200 years, this shit shouldn't be happening in the first place. 3.5/10 save your money and buy a hammer to hit yourself with.
This DLC is £4. Here's what's included in this deal: assets that already exist within the game, a broken trapper mechanic. That's it.
The existing assets are some of the most random things. Concrete walls, new taxidermied creatures, buses (yeah the SS whips entire large vehicles out of their ass now), existing light bulbs but they now have cages around them. The trapper mechanic is worse- when it's not glitching out it's painfully boring.
"Yay I caught a raider"
raider walks around aimlessly doing nothing and serving no purpose
"Haha yay Godd Howard yay!!!!"
It has no merit. Mods have done everything this pitiful excuse of a DLC does. They did it before it came out. 0/10 I genuinely mean this.
The existing assets are some of the most random things. Concrete walls, new taxidermied creatures, buses (yeah the SS whips entire large vehicles out of their ass now), existing light bulbs but they now have cages around them. The trapper mechanic is worse- when it's not glitching out it's painfully boring.
"Yay I caught a raider"
raider walks around aimlessly doing nothing and serving no purpose
"Haha yay Godd Howard yay!!!!"
It has no merit. Mods have done everything this pitiful excuse of a DLC does. They did it before it came out. 0/10 I genuinely mean this.
So someone is looking for their daughter and asks your assistance in finding them. You go to a spooky island with creepy villagers and a fog to find her. Now Bethesda, here's some free advice- when the main plot of your game is searching for a family member, don't make it the main plot of one of you 'expansions'.
Wait a minute. Wait one fucking minute. I just copied what I put for the opening of Point Lookout. I guess I've done just as much work with these reviews as Bethesda have done with their DLCs.
Not the best start, but I'll carry on. You meet these synths that want peace only their leader is a murderer. I won't shit on this because I think he's a good character, in fact it's the other two factions that concern me. First you have the Children of Atom. They made it to an island off the coast of Maine and are now hell bent on nuking the island. Do I really have to go into detail about how stupid this is? The other faction is the Far Harbor villagers. They hate the CoA (with good reason) but also the synths. Why? The villagers don't know about their murder plan. They have no motive. It's conflict just for the sake of it. But oh boy I'm glad there's conflict because without it how would I get c00l 3pl0510nz!! xDxD
They have made interesting new enemies... that they show you immediately in the first quest. Really ruins the surprise of an angle when you know how to identify them. But I suppose Far Harbor couldn't let its little errand boy scout go unprepared could it? The Betehsdaboys wouldn't like that would they? But speaking of anglers, aren't they a deep water fish? Don't they require incredibly high pressures to survive? Or are the good folks at NMA not interested in discussing realism in a post-apoc game?
See this DLC raises 1 million questions, answers none, makes a poor attempt of adding more dialogue variety, spoils surprises, adds a Portal minigame no-one wanted, adds more generic tragic backstory characters, has another missing family member, has another 3 faction power struggle- fuck this DLC is bad in hindsight. 4/10 - 3 points for pity, 1 for Chase the female Courser (I'm all about equality and veganism).
Wait a minute. Wait one fucking minute. I just copied what I put for the opening of Point Lookout. I guess I've done just as much work with these reviews as Bethesda have done with their DLCs.
Not the best start, but I'll carry on. You meet these synths that want peace only their leader is a murderer. I won't shit on this because I think he's a good character, in fact it's the other two factions that concern me. First you have the Children of Atom. They made it to an island off the coast of Maine and are now hell bent on nuking the island. Do I really have to go into detail about how stupid this is? The other faction is the Far Harbor villagers. They hate the CoA (with good reason) but also the synths. Why? The villagers don't know about their murder plan. They have no motive. It's conflict just for the sake of it. But oh boy I'm glad there's conflict because without it how would I get c00l 3pl0510nz!! xDxD
They have made interesting new enemies... that they show you immediately in the first quest. Really ruins the surprise of an angle when you know how to identify them. But I suppose Far Harbor couldn't let its little errand boy scout go unprepared could it? The Betehsdaboys wouldn't like that would they? But speaking of anglers, aren't they a deep water fish? Don't they require incredibly high pressures to survive? Or are the good folks at NMA not interested in discussing realism in a post-apoc game?
See this DLC raises 1 million questions, answers none, makes a poor attempt of adding more dialogue variety, spoils surprises, adds a Portal minigame no-one wanted, adds more generic tragic backstory characters, has another missing family member, has another 3 faction power struggle- fuck this DLC is bad in hindsight. 4/10 - 3 points for pity, 1 for Chase the female Courser (I'm all about equality and veganism).
See wasteland workshop. Substitute trapper mechanic for machinery mechanic then you're pretty much done. The only difference being that the machines aren't buggy as hell. So 0.5/10 because the key feature works.
500 billion dollars short of your ideal fallout shelter capable of housing 1000 people? Want some clean furniture? Do you want to walk aimlessly in a cave looking for limestone to smash with deathclaws that survived on the other side with no food? Look no further, this is the pile of shit for you.
The new vault pieces can't fit together with any of the vanilla pieces. There are about 15 decoration items (and 10 posters). There are a few stat boost settlement objects with atrocious animations. There are in total 2 new NPCs- one of which legit has the worst voice acting in Fallout history, the other is defined by his only characteristic- being goofy.
If you like settlement building and want this DLC pm me and I'll send you the files free of charge. No one should have to pay money for this (I beta tested). 0.5/10 - I mean at least the shit in it works right?
The new vault pieces can't fit together with any of the vanilla pieces. There are about 15 decoration items (and 10 posters). There are a few stat boost settlement objects with atrocious animations. There are in total 2 new NPCs- one of which legit has the worst voice acting in Fallout history, the other is defined by his only characteristic- being goofy.
If you like settlement building and want this DLC pm me and I'll send you the files free of charge. No one should have to pay money for this (I beta tested). 0.5/10 - I mean at least the shit in it works right?
Most of this is going to be my Nuka Rant but edited. If you've already seen it save yourself the trouble and move on.
You investigate a mysterious broadcast and find a train station with gunners surrounding it. Kill them. Then speak to this guy who has abandoned his family and you must save them! Now Bethesda, here's some free advice- when the main plot of your game is searching for a family member, don't make it the main plot of one of you 'expansions'. In its defence it turns out to be an elaborate ruse to get you on a monorail. However, the monorail is bugged like hell. Had to use console commands to reach Nuka World. Not a great start.
Then there's a death maze in a parking lot with traps and enemies. Can a DLC rip off its own game? I think Bethesda just made gaming history right here folks. Then you kill a guy using power (when there should be no power) to create an invincibility shield that admin Gage wants you- the hottest moderator on the block- to nerf with your splash gun of censorship.
As the new moderator of server.NukaWorld you embark on a quest to cleanse it of trolls and undesirables. Your first mission is to visit the three main chat rooms- the murder club, the furries, and the low-key Jewish mercenaries (I hear they're experts in censoring school internet). Then you must retake the other chat rooms.
Retake the /r/Disney by killing the radiation zombies and fighting some magician guy.
Retake the /r/FurrieFandom by killing the genetically modified alligators and speaking to a cheap Tarzan knock-off. Also meet Harambe (haha I memed XDxD zooboo!)
Retake the /r/WestWorldPGVersion by killing the fuckable worms (don't tell me you wouldn't go balls deep in them)
Retake the /r/Generic_Factory_Dungeon#19 by killing all of the snazzy glowing crabs inside it.
Retake /r/Chicken Dipper's prototype Enclave moon base complete with armor that shouldn't exist but it does.
Or assist the undesirables and abolish slavery (only a faggot like myself would do this).
With your server up and running you must raid other forums ala 4chan. After this witness the greatest betrayal since the New Testament and have a cross-chatroom argument with one of your groups. Then you can continue to moderate the server and do daily maintenance checks for your two loyal chatrooms.
Huh. This DLC doesn't sound too bad when you imagine you're setting up a server in place of the repetitive radiant quests and boring characters.
In fact, I have another technique to make Fallout 4 more enjoyable:
1. get pencil
2. put pencil in nostril
3. slam head on desk
In all seriousness, this DLC is helped by great set pieces, a fun location with some variety etc. that's enough to give it a 5/10.
You investigate a mysterious broadcast and find a train station with gunners surrounding it. Kill them. Then speak to this guy who has abandoned his family and you must save them! Now Bethesda, here's some free advice- when the main plot of your game is searching for a family member, don't make it the main plot of one of you 'expansions'. In its defence it turns out to be an elaborate ruse to get you on a monorail. However, the monorail is bugged like hell. Had to use console commands to reach Nuka World. Not a great start.
Then there's a death maze in a parking lot with traps and enemies. Can a DLC rip off its own game? I think Bethesda just made gaming history right here folks. Then you kill a guy using power (when there should be no power) to create an invincibility shield that admin Gage wants you- the hottest moderator on the block- to nerf with your splash gun of censorship.
As the new moderator of server.NukaWorld you embark on a quest to cleanse it of trolls and undesirables. Your first mission is to visit the three main chat rooms- the murder club, the furries, and the low-key Jewish mercenaries (I hear they're experts in censoring school internet). Then you must retake the other chat rooms.
Retake the /r/Disney by killing the radiation zombies and fighting some magician guy.
Retake the /r/FurrieFandom by killing the genetically modified alligators and speaking to a cheap Tarzan knock-off. Also meet Harambe (haha I memed XDxD zooboo!)
Retake the /r/WestWorldPGVersion by killing the fuckable worms (don't tell me you wouldn't go balls deep in them)
Retake the /r/Generic_Factory_Dungeon#19 by killing all of the snazzy glowing crabs inside it.
Retake /r/Chicken Dipper's prototype Enclave moon base complete with armor that shouldn't exist but it does.
Or assist the undesirables and abolish slavery (only a faggot like myself would do this).
With your server up and running you must raid other forums ala 4chan. After this witness the greatest betrayal since the New Testament and have a cross-chatroom argument with one of your groups. Then you can continue to moderate the server and do daily maintenance checks for your two loyal chatrooms.
Huh. This DLC doesn't sound too bad when you imagine you're setting up a server in place of the repetitive radiant quests and boring characters.
In fact, I have another technique to make Fallout 4 more enjoyable:
1. get pencil
2. put pencil in nostril
3. slam head on desk
In all seriousness, this DLC is helped by great set pieces, a fun location with some variety etc. that's enough to give it a 5/10.
Last edited:
