An existential porn flick? Sure.
I'd start with a close up of a hairy beaver. Then, all of a sudden, a head bursts out of this sweaty vagina and it starts to cry like a motherfucker. It's a boy!
Flash forward 12 years. The boy is now a very curious teenager who has begun experimenting with sex. We see how the boy covers his genitalia with a generous layer of chocolate spread and we witness how he has his dog lick it all off.
Four years later, the boy is seen kissing a girl. Has he fallen in love for the first time? Hell no, this kid got blowjobs from his dog, he's sick as fuck, so it should be no surprise that the girl is actually dead and he is fucking her up the ass with a 2 by 4. This introduces the theme of disappointment, which is a constant in everyone's life.
So our hormone driven teenage rapist boy does this to a couple ratchet bitches, and he gets really good at it because we see him getting older and we see him rape a lot of dead assholes, but then he makes a terrible mistake and the cops discover one of the corpses and they manage to find some dried up sperm around the ruptured asshole of the dead girl and this data gets fed into some computer somewhere and PING! We have a match!
So now we see our hero in the interrogation room with a couple of ratchet bitches who fucked their way through police academy. These bitches are also orally fixated feminazis so they really interrogate the shit out of him with their batons and eventually they shove their batons into his asshole, together with their fists, boots, cellphones and a copy of 50 Shades of Grey. This introduces karma into the equation.
So now our main character sits in jail. He's been put in a cell with a nigger who is officially named Samuel Kingsley Frottermann, but who generally listens to the way cooler moniker "Ripper". This introduces racial tensions into our story. Tensions which eventually turn out to be sexual in nature when our hero discovers the joy of manlove and prolapsed anuses. We get to see a lot of buttsex scenes now, hairy assholes, anal creampies and weird circlejerk bukkake stuff. This refers to the repetitiveness of life, the daily drag and the basal pleasures that elevate us above all that sad pseudo-philosophical crap.
We end with a mixed gay marriage. Our hero and Ripper have finally gotten out of jail and the love they feel is real. So they steal a car, rob three liquor stores and go to Vegas. They visit a couple of casinos, they play a few card games and they lose a shitload of the cash they stole. This symbolizes that nothing lasts forever. Not even love, 'cause when our happy couple goes to one of them Vegas churches where you can get married for fifty bucks, two ISIS terrorists run inside the church and they start killing everyone inside. That's when Ripper saves our hero's life. He basically runs into one of the terrorists and gets shot to pieces. This diversion, however, is all that was necessary for our hero to get the fuck out of that goddamn church. This scene symbolizes how everyone who runs into bullets dies.
Flash forward ten years. Our hero seems to be married to a woman! What the fuck? Seems all the gay stuff was just a phase and now our hero likes vagina. It's called being gender fluid and it's a big hype in the future. So we see our hero get into bed, next to his wife, a Somalian midget who used to be a prostitute (cue flash backs of dirty, sick, paid sex with what looks like giants) and they have a deep conversation about existentialism and the simulation argument, but this starts to bore the shit out of our Somalian sex goddess, so she starts sucking our hero's dick and then she starts to ride him, reverse anal cowgirl style. This goes on for another half hour or so and ends with our hero cumming on his wife's face. This quaffer scene is pretty spiritual because the cum actually symbolizes grief and then the grief symbolizes hope which ultimately refers to la condition humaine, which is also a 1933 novel by André Malraux. Which brings us back to a variation of the first scene: the sweaty beaver. Only this time it's a close up of a black sweaty beaver because it belongs to our hero's wife, the Somalian succubus. Suddenly a head bursts out of her vagina and it starts crying like a motherfucker. This symbolizes the cycle of life but also the superiority of black vaginas over white vaginas even after 400 years of slavery which brought the white man nothing but prosperity and cheap sex slaves.
I would probably try to get Woody Allen or one of the Coen brothers on my team to advice me on some technical stuff, but as you can well see, the story is pretty solid.
