Vault 12 comic - The Forum Thread

[xulm]

Hello!
After all that time I can finally start publishing my comic - I even fit in the Fallout's 10th anniversary time - let it begin!
The Vault 12 comic will be updated every friday, since today.

It all starts with the page number 1 - the prologue, the introduction or whatever You want it to call.

Comic's website: xulm.nma-fallout.com

Bon appetit!


PS: Special thanks to Silencer for proofreading! Thanks!

 

[xulm]

here comes the page number 2 !

 

[Sorrow]

Great . I love your drawing style . And the characters .

 

[fallout ranger]

Very good, I like it alot.

 

[mr. pastorius]

Your style is awesome, I love how you handle the little details (the cigarette in the first panel, for example).

Great work.

 

[fallout ranger]

I like the monotone colors, it makes you feel the coldness of the vault.

 

[Ah-Teen]

YOU rock!

 

[SuAside]

nice style, though i dont quite get the point of the story (yet).

 

[Brother None]

Nice contextless exposition you got going there. wth?

Style-points, tho'

 

[Carib FMJ]

Nice... Nice work. Ah, Vault life, and I always did wonder about smoking in the Vault.

 

[alec]

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!
Your style is awesome. Single colour works wonders.
Stylistically this is a great job. I'm waiting for the contents to evolve into something... mind-blowing.

 

[Briosafreak]

Great, very unique visual sense, I like it

 

[Silencer]

Nice... Nice work. Ah, Vault life, and I always did wonder about smoking in the Vault.

They should have had an event scripted in Fallout 1 whereas if you had smoked in the Vault 13, you would cause the water supplies to be reduced by 25 days

 

[xulm]

page number 3

 

[Carib FMJ]

Good stuff Xulm. Good stuff.

 

[Sorrow]

Great . Grim and Radioacive .

 

[SuAside]

magazines?

while correct, i kinda feel you shouldve used another word there...

 

[xulm]

hmmm, SuAside, You're right!

I just fixed it.

 

[Wooz]

Xulm, it's "Radiation" not "Irradiation"

 

[quietfanatic]

Good stuff.

But if we want to talk about proofreading the English again, for the latest page, some changes could include, "radiation" (irradiation is fine though actually), cutting half the Dr's commas, "is Doctor","You know just as well as I do what will happen", "not permitted", "mention FEV", "a virus you've", "their own research", "in one hour/within the hour".

I can help out with proofreading if you want xulm. I have quite a bit of experience doing that sort of thing. Do you type your drafts or write straight onto a sketch version? My editing procedure usually involves revisions via Microsoft Word using the tracked changes and comment functions. I would be a little worried that I might not always have the time and might interfere with your story, but would otherwise be happy to assist.