Seraphim Pwns U
It Wandered In From the Wastes
Inspired by an article made about FOBOS, I decided to write this (partially informative, partially as a rant). In no particular order...
1.) Toilet drinking - Drinking water to survive is a good thing. But, ignoring reality (such as bacteria, evaporation, etc) for the sake of being realistic is nonsense.
2.) Exploding cars - Cars in Fallout 2 ran on microfusion cells. Weapons also ran on microfusion cells. I have never seen a weapon blow up in my hand in either FO1 or 2, nor did I ever see the car blow up then. I'm curious as to when the decision to make a transition from a stable power source to one that blows up the moment it is hit with a bullet was made.
3.) FPP/RT - Upon removing the Isometric-like perspective, we lose standard targetting, and upon removing the turn-based combat, some perks, traits, and skills are likely forced to be cut or modified... as such we are left with...
4.) VATS - So far, it seems to be an inadequate real-time with pause. In all honesty, it seems to be simply fan service, and a means to make spectacular slo-mo critical deaths, than a workable compromise.
5.) Childhood - The fact that you are given pre-existing relationships, as opposed to creating your own, stifles some freedom of decision... which leads to...
6.) Father - If I want to be a good child, that should be my choice. If I don't want to have anything to do with him, that too should be my choice. I was not required to find the Water Chip, and IIRC, I was not required to find the GECK... why is befriending Daddy a necessity?
7.) Fatman - In prior Fallouts, nukes were treated with respect... treated as if it was something no sane person should fool with. And now these once-sacred and much-feared items are part of our arsenal.
8.) Bobbleheads - To upgrade stats in FO2, you used cybernetic implants. Now, you are collecting Bobbleheads. Anyone else scratching their head about the logic of this? How is my character supposed to use these Bobbleheads? Where do they go? How is it they make my character stronger? Smarter? Faster?
9.) Complete voice overs - I don't know about anyone else, but I like being recognized by name. I suppose it's human nature, but I feel as if someone is trying to be hospitable toward me when doing so. Complete voice overs negate the potential for this kind of interaction.
10.) Nomenclature of "Megaton" - I find it extremely awkward. In city naming nomenclature, "Mega" means "exceedingly large" and "ton" means "town". Megaton, therefore means, "exceedingly large town". A town is supposed to be small... bigger than a village, but smaller than a city. If it's exceedingly big, wouldn't it therefore be "Megapolis"? All that aside, it is my opinion alone that they could've done a better job naming the city.
11.) Dichtomy - Regarding the two examples of interaction that've been mentioned, it is always portrayed as a dichtomy: either be nice, or insult the sheriff's hat/either defuse the nuke or blow it up. Where is the grey area?
12.) The Rock-it-Launcher - A weapon of this caliber is more fitting in a game such as MDK or Ratchet and Clank, where improvised weaponry is verisimilitudinous. Weaponry of Fallout's universe has been in the realm of realistic, or 'laseresque'.
13.) Lack of Idiocy - There was always a reason to want to play a character with a low attribute. Low luck meant weapons blowing up on you. Low charisma meant no one would stand your presence more than a few moments. Low intelligence meant you couldn't form coherent sentences. Now, a person with the intellect of a houseplant is capable of intense, well-thought out, debates.
14.) Alteration of iconic items - The Supermutants and Nuka-Cola. They are as iconic to Fallout as Vault Boy and the Highwayman. Sometimes "new and improved!" is not always "improved".
15.) Supermutants and BoS on the East Coast - While this may prove to be a non-issue (given a lot of mental stretching), and considering that FOT and FOBOS are officially non-canon, it makes one wonder how they went from SoCal to DC.
16.) Alteration of BoS lore - they went from xenophobic, zealous, reclusive, technophiles to expansionistic crusaders of justice, eliminating the Supermutant threat. Wha- huh?? Um... I though FOBOS wasn't canon.
17.) "Violence is [censored] funny" - No it isn't. Gory deaths are amusing eye-candy. It is 'cool'. It is not 'funny'. It is even less funny when attempting to do it in a realistic manner, as opposed to a pseudo-cartoonish manner. At that point, it is simply gory.
18.) Skill condensing/cutting - Fallout 1 and 2 worked just fine as far as skills went. Every skill had both a use and a unique purpose, whether the average person took note of it or not.
19.) Eye/Groin shots - Eye shots were the pride and joy of sniper builds. Groin shots would apply to the "Violence is [censored] funny" quote, however, also served a purpose in disabling a male character for a turn or two.
20.) Radiant AI - is neither radiant nor intelligent.
21.) Humor - So far, I have seen three examples of the direction Fallout 3's humor is going to be like : "Let us in, [censored]", "Nice hat, Calamity Jane", and "Violence is [censored] funny". Only one of those three sound Fallouty.
22.) Potential for unkillable children - Removed freedom. If my character wants to be heroic, he's going to take extra care to avoid hitting any kids around. If he's a villian, he's going to take out the entire town: men, women, and children. In addition, there is the Megaton issue: if Megaton is blown up, then men, women, and children will all equally die (in theory, and in common sense)... under what conditions is it wrong to kill a child via a gunshot, and not to kill a child via a nuke? Or are all the people in Megaton sterile?
23.) No sex - The issue of sex has been in every Fallout game to some extent, whether it is next to none (like in FO1), or overused as a gimmick (FOBOS), either in a veiled manner, or as plain as day. Why, then, become prudish in a series known for pushing the edge? And on that note...
24.) No prostitutes - If a person doesn't know how to do anything productive in a PA world, and do not resort to raiding, they will resort to the oldest profession in the world. Without prostitutes, it will seem as awkward as a high fantasy RPG without elves or dragons, a FPS without guns, or a Star Wars movie without Jedi. It is iconic to the genre.
25.) Unkillable NPCs - again, restriction of freedom. If I want to be unable to complete my main quest, then let me. The only unkillable person in Fallout 1 was the Overseer... and guess what... he was killable at the very end. Why should FO3 be *less* than what Fallout 1 was?
26.) Language - I don't mind expletives in games. But too much of it, imho, is immature. A hot-head swearing left and right is fitting. A frustrated worker letting loose is completely understandable. The unwashed masses, on occasion, is normal. But everyone and their brother, all with mouths that'd make a sailor blush, is over-the-top... and apparently that's the direction Bethesda is taking.
27.) The general attitude of Bethesda - They seem to care little about staying true to the Fallout universe and mechanics, the original devs, or the fans. By alienating all three, there is less reason why I'd want to bother with FO3 any more than I bothered with FOBOS.
(And it is by sheer coincidence that I came up with 27 things as well... I was aiming for 30).
In addition... points 1, 4, 5, 7 (but with the twist of violence is funny, instead of violence gets you laid), 13, 19, 25 (replace "flying" with "mushroom-cloud exploding"), and 75% of the conclusion, from 27 Things About FOBOS, hold relatively or wholly true.
For the record, here's the 27 things about FOBOS.
Comments?
1.) Toilet drinking - Drinking water to survive is a good thing. But, ignoring reality (such as bacteria, evaporation, etc) for the sake of being realistic is nonsense.
2.) Exploding cars - Cars in Fallout 2 ran on microfusion cells. Weapons also ran on microfusion cells. I have never seen a weapon blow up in my hand in either FO1 or 2, nor did I ever see the car blow up then. I'm curious as to when the decision to make a transition from a stable power source to one that blows up the moment it is hit with a bullet was made.
3.) FPP/RT - Upon removing the Isometric-like perspective, we lose standard targetting, and upon removing the turn-based combat, some perks, traits, and skills are likely forced to be cut or modified... as such we are left with...
4.) VATS - So far, it seems to be an inadequate real-time with pause. In all honesty, it seems to be simply fan service, and a means to make spectacular slo-mo critical deaths, than a workable compromise.
5.) Childhood - The fact that you are given pre-existing relationships, as opposed to creating your own, stifles some freedom of decision... which leads to...
6.) Father - If I want to be a good child, that should be my choice. If I don't want to have anything to do with him, that too should be my choice. I was not required to find the Water Chip, and IIRC, I was not required to find the GECK... why is befriending Daddy a necessity?
7.) Fatman - In prior Fallouts, nukes were treated with respect... treated as if it was something no sane person should fool with. And now these once-sacred and much-feared items are part of our arsenal.
8.) Bobbleheads - To upgrade stats in FO2, you used cybernetic implants. Now, you are collecting Bobbleheads. Anyone else scratching their head about the logic of this? How is my character supposed to use these Bobbleheads? Where do they go? How is it they make my character stronger? Smarter? Faster?
9.) Complete voice overs - I don't know about anyone else, but I like being recognized by name. I suppose it's human nature, but I feel as if someone is trying to be hospitable toward me when doing so. Complete voice overs negate the potential for this kind of interaction.
10.) Nomenclature of "Megaton" - I find it extremely awkward. In city naming nomenclature, "Mega" means "exceedingly large" and "ton" means "town". Megaton, therefore means, "exceedingly large town". A town is supposed to be small... bigger than a village, but smaller than a city. If it's exceedingly big, wouldn't it therefore be "Megapolis"? All that aside, it is my opinion alone that they could've done a better job naming the city.
11.) Dichtomy - Regarding the two examples of interaction that've been mentioned, it is always portrayed as a dichtomy: either be nice, or insult the sheriff's hat/either defuse the nuke or blow it up. Where is the grey area?
12.) The Rock-it-Launcher - A weapon of this caliber is more fitting in a game such as MDK or Ratchet and Clank, where improvised weaponry is verisimilitudinous. Weaponry of Fallout's universe has been in the realm of realistic, or 'laseresque'.
13.) Lack of Idiocy - There was always a reason to want to play a character with a low attribute. Low luck meant weapons blowing up on you. Low charisma meant no one would stand your presence more than a few moments. Low intelligence meant you couldn't form coherent sentences. Now, a person with the intellect of a houseplant is capable of intense, well-thought out, debates.
14.) Alteration of iconic items - The Supermutants and Nuka-Cola. They are as iconic to Fallout as Vault Boy and the Highwayman. Sometimes "new and improved!" is not always "improved".
15.) Supermutants and BoS on the East Coast - While this may prove to be a non-issue (given a lot of mental stretching), and considering that FOT and FOBOS are officially non-canon, it makes one wonder how they went from SoCal to DC.
16.) Alteration of BoS lore - they went from xenophobic, zealous, reclusive, technophiles to expansionistic crusaders of justice, eliminating the Supermutant threat. Wha- huh?? Um... I though FOBOS wasn't canon.
17.) "Violence is [censored] funny" - No it isn't. Gory deaths are amusing eye-candy. It is 'cool'. It is not 'funny'. It is even less funny when attempting to do it in a realistic manner, as opposed to a pseudo-cartoonish manner. At that point, it is simply gory.
18.) Skill condensing/cutting - Fallout 1 and 2 worked just fine as far as skills went. Every skill had both a use and a unique purpose, whether the average person took note of it or not.
19.) Eye/Groin shots - Eye shots were the pride and joy of sniper builds. Groin shots would apply to the "Violence is [censored] funny" quote, however, also served a purpose in disabling a male character for a turn or two.
20.) Radiant AI - is neither radiant nor intelligent.
21.) Humor - So far, I have seen three examples of the direction Fallout 3's humor is going to be like : "Let us in, [censored]", "Nice hat, Calamity Jane", and "Violence is [censored] funny". Only one of those three sound Fallouty.
22.) Potential for unkillable children - Removed freedom. If my character wants to be heroic, he's going to take extra care to avoid hitting any kids around. If he's a villian, he's going to take out the entire town: men, women, and children. In addition, there is the Megaton issue: if Megaton is blown up, then men, women, and children will all equally die (in theory, and in common sense)... under what conditions is it wrong to kill a child via a gunshot, and not to kill a child via a nuke? Or are all the people in Megaton sterile?
23.) No sex - The issue of sex has been in every Fallout game to some extent, whether it is next to none (like in FO1), or overused as a gimmick (FOBOS), either in a veiled manner, or as plain as day. Why, then, become prudish in a series known for pushing the edge? And on that note...
24.) No prostitutes - If a person doesn't know how to do anything productive in a PA world, and do not resort to raiding, they will resort to the oldest profession in the world. Without prostitutes, it will seem as awkward as a high fantasy RPG without elves or dragons, a FPS without guns, or a Star Wars movie without Jedi. It is iconic to the genre.
25.) Unkillable NPCs - again, restriction of freedom. If I want to be unable to complete my main quest, then let me. The only unkillable person in Fallout 1 was the Overseer... and guess what... he was killable at the very end. Why should FO3 be *less* than what Fallout 1 was?
26.) Language - I don't mind expletives in games. But too much of it, imho, is immature. A hot-head swearing left and right is fitting. A frustrated worker letting loose is completely understandable. The unwashed masses, on occasion, is normal. But everyone and their brother, all with mouths that'd make a sailor blush, is over-the-top... and apparently that's the direction Bethesda is taking.
27.) The general attitude of Bethesda - They seem to care little about staying true to the Fallout universe and mechanics, the original devs, or the fans. By alienating all three, there is less reason why I'd want to bother with FO3 any more than I bothered with FOBOS.
(And it is by sheer coincidence that I came up with 27 things as well... I was aiming for 30).
In addition... points 1, 4, 5, 7 (but with the twist of violence is funny, instead of violence gets you laid), 13, 19, 25 (replace "flying" with "mushroom-cloud exploding"), and 75% of the conclusion, from 27 Things About FOBOS, hold relatively or wholly true.
For the record, here's the 27 things about FOBOS.
Comments?
