The new Cookie Monster

K

KQX

Vault Senior Citizen
Even though i was born in Serbia and lived most of my life there, i spent my early childhood in the States (ages 3-6). This is why i was never too familiar with Serbian kid shows and music, but instead i will always remember the characters and songs from "Sesame Street". Cookie Monster was by far my favorite. His crazy eyes and violent urge to gorge cookies after his monologue always made me laugh. And of course his famous "Soft boiled cookie" song (with a glass of cookie juice on the side).

Well "Sesame Street" has recently made an announcement that Cookie Monster will be changing his diet and songs next season:

USA Today
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2005/04/07/entertainment/e123204D96.DTL

Wednesday, the new annual Index of Child Well-Being showed childhood obesity tripled to almost 17% in 2004 from 1975. The New England Journal of Medicine says about 10% of kids under 5 were overweight in 2000, a doubling in 30 years. Sesame Street has taken note.
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So kids are fatter, therefore Cookie Monster needs to be a better role model. This change, even though it supposedly aims towards a positive goal, really reminds me of those EXTREEEEEME lunatics. Again it seems like another childhood memory has been "raped".

So what do you think? Is it the same type of situation? Should other beloved characters all change their ways so that they seem like better role models and more politicly correct? I really think this is going too far. Sure kids are fat, but are puppets like the cookie monster really to blame? And if so, will a change in his diet really change things? I would like for kids today to experience Cookie Monster the way i remember him.
 
I'm sorry, but "Non-Dairy, Soy-Based Rice Wafer Monster" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

I will personally do a danse macabre atop Capital Hill the day every neo-con and extremist shithead is wearing a tag on his or her toe.
 
Wow, you guys are actually talking about this shit. I have been lurking this site for ages (yeah, I'm a big fallout fan). I am glad this thing is getting some airtime now, but I can't really speak out about this as it's my ass.

Here's the story- When management of Sesame Street told me that I was getting too fat, that I had to go on a diet- that the problem was image- my instincts were to tell them to fuck-off.

I mean really, who the hell where they to tell me how to project a positive image on the children. Fucking A. Christ, you know. I was scratching by balls as the cookie monster when they weren't more than, well, as scratch in their father's balls.

Oscar was pissed off about the changes. The guy might have a bit too much attitude, I mean, it's like he's in a constant state of PMS, but he has a lot to say and truth is, he's usually right.

But the other day he and I smoking a blunt (yeah, my appetite for cookies is a consequence of a bad case of munchies) in our trailer behind the studio and he says, "Yo Cookie, you know, this shit management might not be so bad. You know, you're getting old bro and with all those cookies you have been downing it might be wise to get off it. You need to trim."

Then I hear Alicia Keys was doing a tune with Elmo. Let me tell you straight. Elmo's a homo. That little pussy, ever since the Tickle Me Elmo crap he's been getting all the attention when everyone else has done the fucking work. Confidentially, Elmo's a dick. Me and Oscer used to kick his ass after the show just for shits and giggles. He's a pussy. The Count hates his guts. The only guys who hang with him were Fred and Ernie, and let's be honest- those guys really are fags.

Then I hear that they are thinking about bringing J Lo on the show, and the execs are interesting in having her do a duet with me. So I'm figuring I might make the moves on her but I got no chance being a fat ass. I trim down and maybe I can tap that Latin ass. You know she want's the blue shag.

And come on, you would too.

Ok, so truth is they sweeted the pot with some cash too. Fucking time too as we haven't had a raised in ages. Fucking union is shit when it comes to puppets.

I was still undecided but then they gave me the drugs to trim down. These new drugs man.... Fuck. You know, Big Bird used to have all those strange trips about that shagging elephant that they had to bring the big shaggy dude on the show. They have been medicating the cast for ages. The shit they got me doing now......

Anyway, that's all I got to say about it. If the execs hear about this they'll give my agent a call, and then the lawyer and it's law suits, you know. So why rock the boat?

So yeah, publically I'm not saying shit. Why would I? Good drugs, more money and maybe a date with J.Lo. And let's be honest, these days it's not easy finding work as a crazy blue cookie eating puppet with a habit. I can't afford that shit.
 
Kahgan said:
Now that was funny :lol:
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Yeah. But especially this part:
join3hw.jpg


How could you have held out for that long? I guess you were waiting for that perfect thread. Can't get any better than this one, heh. I wonder how many more "old warrior" lurkers are around now. Show yourselves, damn you.
 
cookiemonster said:
Wow, you guys are actually talking about this shit. I have been lurking this site for ages (yeah, I'm a big fallout fan). I am glad this thing is getting some airtime now, but I can't really speak out about this as it's my ass.

Here's the story- When management of Sesame Street told me that I was getting too fat, that I had to go on a diet- that the problem was image- my instincts were to tell them to fuck-off.

I mean really, who the hell where they to tell me how to project a positive image on the children. Fucking A. Christ, you know. I was scratching by balls as the cookie monster when they weren't more than, well, as scratch in their father's balls.

Oscar was pissed off about the changes. The guy might have a bit too much attitude, I mean, it's like he's in a constant state of PMS, but he has a lot to say and truth is, he's usually right.

But the other day he and I smoking a blunt (yeah, my appetite for cookies is a consequence of a bad case of munchies) in our trailer behind the studio and he says, "Yo Cookie, you know, this shit management might not be so bad. You know, you're getting old bro and with all those cookies you have been downing it might be wise to get off it. You need to trim."

Then I hear Alicia Keys was doing a tune with Elmo. Let me tell you straight. Elmo's a homo. That little pussy, ever since the Tickle Me Elmo crap he's been getting all the attention when everyone else has done the fucking work. Confidentially, Elmo's a dick. Me and Oscer used to kick his ass after the show just for shits and giggles. He's a pussy. The Count hates his guts. The only guys who hang with him were Fred and Ernie, and let's be honest- those guys really are fags.

Then I hear that they are thinking about bringing J Lo on the show, and the execs are interesting in having her do a duet with me. So I'm figuring I might make the moves on her but I got no chance being a fat ass. I trim down and maybe I can tap that Latin ass. You know she want's the blue shag.

And come on, you would too.

Ok, so truth is they sweeted the pot with some cash too. Fucking time too as we haven't had a raised in ages. Fucking union is shit when it comes to puppets.

I was still undecided but then they gave me the drugs to trim down. These new drugs man.... Fuck. You know, Big Bird used to have all those strange trips about that shagging elephant that they had to bring the big shaggy dude on the show. They have been medicating the cast for ages. The shit they got me doing now......

Anyway, that's all I got to say about it. If the execs hear about this they'll give my agent a call, and then the lawyer and it's law suits, you know. So why rock the boat?

So yeah, publically I'm not saying shit. Why would I? Good drugs, more money and maybe a date with J.Lo. And let's be honest, these days it's not easy finding work as a crazy blue cookie eating puppet with a habit. I can't afford that shit.
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LOL
this guy is hella funny. I forgot most of the names, but man, this brings back old memories!
Oh, and what do you think about kermit the frog?
http://media.skoopy.com/audio/aud_0020.mp3
 
So kids are fatter, therefore Cookie Monster needs to be a better role model. This change, even though it supposedly aims towards a positive goal, really reminds me of those EXTREEEEEME lunatics. Again it seems like another childhood memory has been "raped".

So what do you think? Is it the same type of situation? Should other beloved characters all change their ways so that they seem like better role models and more politicly correct? I really think this is going too far. Sure kids are fat, but are puppets like the cookie monster really to blame? And if so, will a change in his diet really change things? I would like for kids today to experience Cookie Monster the way i remember him.
Click to expand...
Changing a well known character like to Cookie Monster just because parents don't care to tech their kids any more is pure bullshit.
Today parents aren't parents any more and TV rolemodels educate kids, wich basically sucks.
I just hope I'll do a better job as a parent than most people.
 
They do have a point, though. Its not like they turned Cookie Monster Xtreme and pointy. He just eats cookies sometimes as opposed to implying that he does all the time.

At least "is sometimes now" is clever.
 
DarkUnderlord said:
cookiemonster said:
my instincts were to tell them to fuck-off.
Click to expand...
Cookie Monster swore! My childhood has been destroyed. :cry:
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oh god, that is funny!
You know what ruined my childhood?
When In the 3rd grade someone told me that Mr. Rogers died.
That was a big turing point in my life. no joke.
 
KillaKilla said:
... or 10 years ago.

I must say, Cookie Monster, your lurking for 2 full years earns you... A cookie!
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ROFL! :ROFL:
You know what, I always saw cookie monster and a a bad influence on kids. Kids would eat just the way he did when they saw him. *shudders* All the mess was my responsiblity to.
 
Wait, how long ago did Mr. Rogers die?

I swear, I thought it was only like three years ago...

I must be out of my mind.
 
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